Thursday, July 17, 2014

Those Wascally Kittens

Years ago, I had a cat that could turn on the TV and the stereo. I swore he had little cat raves while I was away at work because often the music would be really loud, blaring from the apartment. I'm sure my neighbors hated me and I highly doubt that they would have believed me if I had blamed the cat, even though it was true.

Kittens today go beyond that and are just as mischievous and are incredibly tech savvy. It's one thing to turn something on or off or turn up the volume. It's another thing entirely to change the password (or at least to put in a very good effort).

Even before these kittens were born, there was a camera on them, streaming video to the internet. There has always been tech equipment in their room. They've been around it their whole entire lives, even before they were born. And shortly after they learned to walk, they learned how to mess with this equipment.

At first, the kittens learned to block the camera. One of their giant nylon cubes always managed to sneak right in front of the camera. One might argue that the kittens were simply leaving their toys around the room and the cube coincidentally just happened to be in front of the camera. Of course, after well over a dozen times that the cube blocked the camera, one can safely say those rascally kittens were doing it on purpose.

The kittens moved on to actually turning the camera. They learned how to jump up on the camera stand and press a paw down on the camera, thus giving the audience a view of the carpet.

Turning the camera segued into knocking the camera completely over so that the view was of the ceiling.

I then learned to anchor the camera more securely. Frustrated with not being able to affect the camera angle, the kittens turned their attention to the laptop itself.

The kittens learned how to unplug the laptop. The cord that goes into the laptop is very touchy and simply bumping it can disconnect the power cord from the laptop. The disadvantage is that the laptop would automatically switch to battery and the kittens would have to wait for the battery to finally give out before the laptop would die, cutting off the broadcast. There had to be a faster method. Unplugging the router turned the wi-fi off completely, shutting down transmission of the broadcast. The cord is lightweight and can be unplugged quite easily. Occasionally, the laptop can pick up another wi-fi signal to keep broadcasting so even shutting off the router doesn't always do the trick. The kittens learned to turn off the power strip, which knocks out the router's wi-fi signal and two hours later, kills the laptop's power supply. Both units are gone when the power is shut off. Of course, the heater and the iPod are also on this power strip so turning it off makes the room cold and kills the party tunes.

One day, the kittens changed the orientation of the screen display on the laptop from landscape to portrait. I have no idea what they did to change that. It's incredibly difficult to look at a screen sideways while opening windows and typing. It's even harder to type when you turn the screen on an end so that you can see things upright. It took about 10 minutes for me to re-orient the screen display. Ten minutes of pure swearing. I think they were just testing me to see how tech savvy *I* was. The main thing slowing me down from fixing the problem was trying to understand how on earth the kittens achieved this task. No one button alone can do this. They had to press multiple keys together to do this. I'm pretty sure there were several kittens in on this scam.

This is when the kittens stepped up their game. I came in one day to find several screens open on the laptop. One, the user profile screen from the control panel. I think they were either trying to figure out how to partition another user or how to change my password to lock me out... The second window was a browser page about web scripting. I think they were trying to learn how to create their own site. And the final screen was a print screen, so that they could print out their findings to study later tonight.

I came in a day later to discover that the kittens were recording a video. I have yet to watch that video. I'm hoping it's a choreographed music/dance video, complete with back up singers. I'm pretty sure it's not. I'm pretty sure it's kittens holding up protest signs. I don't want to watch it. They're going to scare me even more.

The thought that perhaps it's not the kittens messing with the equipment but an actual human did occur to me. My husband rarely goes into this foster room so I'm pretty sure he's not the culprit. Plus, I caught one of the kittens (<cough> Zotz) red pawed. As I was cleaning litter boxes, I heard clicking. I looked up to find Zotz sitting in front of the laptop, typing away, with dozens of screens popping open onto the screen. It was like she was a savant. I stood there in awe of all the windows that were whizzing open and then the horror of it all struck me. A kitten was TYPING on the laptop and actual screens were opening as a result.

I realized it was only a matter of time before these kittens did some real damage to the laptop so I bought a cabinet and placed all of the electronics in there - router and laptop. I drilled holes so that the laptop wouldn't over heat in its enclosed setting.

So, in sum, here are the things the kittens have done with all the tech equipment:

  • Block the camera
  • Change the camera angle to point straight down
  • Knock over the camera so that it points at the ceiling
  • Unplug the laptop
  • Unplug the router
  • Shut off the power strip (which shuts off the router, laptop, iPod, and heater)
  • Change the laptop screen display orientation
  • Try to change my password or create another user
  • Read about web scripting
  • Try to print their findings
  • Record a video
  • Type
I have a pretty good idea who the instigator is. I think there are several culprits but I know who the main rebel is. Oh, I know him - and her - well. I'm onto them all.

Lest you think the kittens focus all their mischievous attention on the webcam, please note that they are equal opportunist rascals. They learned to open a drawer the other day. I found the contents of the drawer all over the room. They also, for some reason, feel the need to tear down the colorful paw prints that are hanging all over the room.

Oh, those wascally (rascally) kittens. How I love them! I wouldn't have it any other way. They keep me on my toes. They keep me laughing. They make me smile. They're such good kittens, rascally and all. I will miss them when they're gone.

No comments:

Post a Comment